Saturday, August 29, 2009

Furry Friday (plus one day)

Oy, what a day yesterday...between my bastard computer and random dog adventure, the post just wasn't happening.

Also...I have no pictures for today because Thursdays dogs at the shelter were just not cooperating with the camera. Usually I can get at least one of them to look at the camera, but that so was not happening. There is one dog there named "Slack Jawed Joe"...seriously, who names these dogs? Anyway, he's the cutest/funniest looking dog you will ever see. I"ll try again next week if he is still there.

Anyway,I got an email at some point during the day yesterday that said this rescue group had arrived from Louisiana with over 100 dogs they were trying to adopt out, and only 3 volunteers. OY! So I wandered over after work, and I gotta say, I've never been to Louisiana, but I am kind of obsessed with it. I love their accents, the people I've met from there, their authors, their food, and their dogs. Sweetest bunch of dogs ever! It was kind of like that scene from Gilmore Girls where Loreli ends up buying Paul Anka. Just rows of cages stacked on cages...big guys on the bottom, little guys on the top. And a surprisingly little amount of barking given the excessive number of dogs. Geez, sometimes in the shelter there are only like 10 dogs and you think you are going to go deaf.

Anyway, apparently these dogs have been picked up from various shelters around Louisiana, and as I understand it, there are still tons of homeless animals roaming around due to Katrina. You can tell too..these dogs are so random looking! Definitely the offspring of stray dogs. They were all so cute too, and so lovely! I overheard the woman telling someone that a lot of them came from a kill shelter where they just gas the dogs, and at that point I had to put my hands over my ears and be like "lalalalalalala". I suspected it, but now I know how good our shelter here is compared to others.

I think they had adopted out about 40 dogs yesterday, and they are there all day today too. Whatever dogs don't get adopted go back where they came from, which is kind of devastating, and I'm hoping I heard that incorrectly. It was hard to get any information because it was a little chaotic. I'm hoping our shelter ends up taking any that don't get adopted. Anyway, all the dogs that I walked were so great! Not the best at the actual physical task of walking on leash, but really great dogs none the less.

I kind of left there with the feeling that I'm really not doing enough. I looked at these people who drove 100+ dogs down in a huge trailer from Louisiana so they could give them a chance at life. They were sleeping outside in the trailer with the dogs, and were working 16 hour days trying to adopt them out. What I do is diddley in comparison. Not sure how I"m going to remedy that as of yet, but I'll see what I can come up with.

This group, B.A.R.K is AMAZING! I am in complete awe that they do so much for these dogs, and I am so thankful there are people like them in the world. Visit their website here . Amazing, amazing people.

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

Pictures, Pictures, Pictures

So I've always been a little obsessed with taking pictures. I like to document moments and people and places so I can always remember them. Sometimes when I'm having a really perfect moment, I just get this feeling like, I have to record this on film, otherwise, I might forget, which just terrifies me like you wouldn't believe. So needless to say, I have thousands of photos, many of which I took before the invent of the good old digital camera.

This has led to me having hundreds of photos in albums and hundreds more in boxes. Add to this old family photos and you get a shitload of pictures.

I've recently started tackling this project where I scan in all my old photos and I realized something last night: it is going to take me very near to the end of my life to scan in all of my photos one at a time. It is extremely time consuming, and if you factor in the time I spend getting nostalgic over suddenly remembered people or experiences, entire nights of my life get written off. I'll start scanning and remembering and next thing I know, 5 hours have past, the sun has set and it's time to sleep.

But still, I need to do it. I especially am keen to scan in all my grandmother's old photos, because they are fading and I don't want her to fade. She needs to remain forever, digitized in my computer. Half the people in the photos I don't know, and my parents don't know, so often it is just a photo of my grandmother with some random people. I wonder if these are even worth keeping, but Lord knows I can't get rid of them. There is someone in that photo that is loved. I feel like I need to keep these scraps of my grandmother's life and put them together while I can; piece together the events the best I can with my mom and aunts help, because dammit, I didn't ask my grandma when she was alive. But oh, is it time consuming, the scanning.

The whole idea of a camera just amazes me, it amazes me that someone invented something that can capture a moment in time. As much as photos can be made to represent something that is not always reality, it is in a sense always a certain kind of reality because what is in the photo, it happened. On some level or another. You can rewrite memories and you can make things seem better or worse then they really were, but the people in the photo, the background, the colours? They were all there...for real. People put on acts for the camera all the time; look happy when they are sad or look excited when they are bored out of their mind, but the photo still captured them. Their life; their existence.

Anyway, I have 20+ albums to scan in, as well as boxes (big, big boxes!) of photos. I feel like they will be way more protected if I scan them in and them make copies on a disk. If the house is burning down, it will be a lot easier to grab a computer and some cds, then it would be to cart 20 albums plus two giant Tupperware containers full of pictures. This is what I think about. And the pictures are the first thing I would grab. They are the only thing I can think of that I own that could never, ever, be replaced.

So, even if it takes me until I'm 82...I'm scanning them all.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

On Music

So I was going through a drawer the other day and I found an old cd that I used to be obsessed with. Well, it's not that old, but I felt like I hadn't listened to it in forever. It's The Feeling! I'm pretty sure I saw this band on some kind of Tribute to Princess Diana concert, and I was so excited to find the CD, because it's great and it makes me happy. And so does the video. Puppets!:

Speaking of bands that make me happy:

How I love Joel Plaskett Emergency. For sure one of my favourite bands! And they are Canadian to boot! So many catchy songs.

And I can't talk about Canadian bands without mentioning Sam Roberts Band, because they are amazing and I don't think I'll ever get tired of their cds for my entire life. Ever.

Friday, August 21, 2009

Furry Friday

This is Chopper, and he enjoys a good game of fetch. Basically all the dogs wanted to do last night was sit under the picnic table in the shade, which I get, sometimes you just don't want to run. Especially when it's hot and humid out and you have fur. It makes me really happy to see a dog just lying down on the grass, enjoying the odd breeze that comes along.

Dudley. Dudley is a handsome fellow I must say. He posed so nicely too. He was walking with this weird limp so I went to get a staff member so they could check it out, so the guy comes out back with me and Dudley just goes crazy and starts running in circles, and staff could not get anywhere close to him. Then as soon as the guy went back inside, Dudley sprawled out on the grass for a belly rub. Thanks dog, way to make the staff think I'm lying. Anyway, he's cute. Any dog with ears like that immediately wins my heart.

Sabre. I love this dog, she's a total sweetheart. Oddly enough, the reason she was put up for adoption was because she ate the chickens at the farm she lived at. Which I think is kind of hilarious...I mean, it's horrible, but also a little hilarious. In theory. Probably not to watch, or if you were a chicken. However, she's just the loveliest dog. She always comes and sits right next to me, as close as she could possibly get and just hangs out. Funnily enough Zesty, the other love of my dog shelter life, also ate chickens. Weird no?

Brooklyn. She's also lovely, impossible to get a good picture of, but lovely. I have an extreme soft spot for Pitbulls. I feel like they have been saddled with such an unfair image, and that image had created complete fear on the part of the public (most people). I mean, I feel like it is such an undeserved stigma. All the pitbulls I have encountered at the shelter have been lovely, and some of the worst dog to dog aggression I have seen has not involved pitbulls. And the dogs people have gotten bitten by at the shelter? Not pitbulls! Are there pitbulls that bite? Hells yes! But they are also golden retrievers that bite, German Shepherds that bite and Labs that bite.

The Ontario government has got it completely wrong with Bill 132. They are using an entire breed as scapegoats for irresponsible owners. What they should be doing is dealing with tracking down the people who use these animals in dogfights, and train them to be aggressive. It just completely pisses me off. The number of pitbulls that are euthanized because of this law? The number of perfectly friendly, young dogs that are put to sleep just because of how their breed is stereotyped? Heartbreaking. What harm does a newborn pitbull puppy pose to anyone? Seriously? If you are going to look at anything, look at 1) the people who are breeding these dogs, and 2) the people who are adopting them.

I know this topics been done to death, and I can't imagine how it must be to own a pitbull...I would be even more pissed off. I'm looking at this from the outside, and I can see how ludicrous it is.

Thank god for organizations like this: They deserve a lot of support and kudos for the work they do for this breed.

Hopefully one day Ontario will reverse this law, but as of right now, it effin stinks.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

On Changes

Okay, remember as a kid when you got your first computer? Or really, it was probably like the family computer and everybody was always like, minesweeper and solitaire rule! The Internet wasn’t really a thing yet, and you became totally obsessed with the Paint program? Just me? Oh how I loved that program. Oh look, I can move the mouse and my words come up. Amazing! Sign me up for a lifetime subscription to that please! I created tons of pictures…crudely drawn trees, houses, dogs…you name it, I drew it in the Paint program.

So what does one do when the Internet suddenly doesn’t work (have you ever wanted to stab a router with a basilisk fang?), such as I’ve been experiencing these last couple of days? I mean, besides realizing that I might have a slight Internet addiction, as my morning routine is just not the same without it? That’s right…play with the Paint program! What do you mean I’m at work? And you know what? The Paint program is just as much fun nowadays as it was back in the 90s. I decided to design approximately 10 horribly ugly new banners for the blog, which I can now rotate forever and ever, or until, you know, I get sick of them. The one I have up now is my favourite because it is hideous and reminds of a dress I used to have that I would wear with neon pink shoelaces tied in my hair. Oh 80s.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

On how playing softball can make you look like a crack addict and my love of magnets

Okay, so, softball last night? We got, well, pummelled might be the best word for it. For our first game, only 6 people showed up, so the other team had to lend us players so that we could play. I mean, they won automatically since half our team failed to mention they wouldn't be showing up, but whatever, they were nice and it was cool. For our second game we had to frantically call friends beforehand and beg them to show up so we wouldn't have to forfeit another game. We were still one player short, but we got to play. Don't you hate when you play in a rec league and all of a sudden you come up against this one team who are complete assholes and play all hardcore like it's the World Series of Baseball?

Most of our team would rather sit around and drink beer than play softball. That's not to say we don't like to play, cause we do, but the beer + social time is what makes it really fun. Anyway, this team last night consisted of mostly giant guys, and about three girls, while our team consisted of two guys, and the rest girls (apparently everybody else was on vacation). Actually, I think we did pretty good all things considered. I really hated this team though...they were just so annoying. They were the kind of people that would yell out random noises before someone went to pitch, and at one point one of the girls on our team got hit with a line drive, and there was lots of blood, so much blood, and this guy on the other team called out, ohhhh, she's hurt, call an ambulance!, and it really made me want to hurt him. The poor girl was clearly in extreme pain, and crying and bleeding, and he's mocking her. Blood actually splattered from her poor hand, and this guy is mocking her. That takes a special kind of asshole. Dude, you are wearing your hat sideways and you are mocking people? . My friend K was like, "when I ran into second base, I totally kicked the guy in the leg!". hahahaha. K is a tiny, tiny person and that makes it even more hilarious. I'm also doing something with the bat so it keeps hitting my inner arm, and now my inner arm is all bruised and swollen. I look like a crack addict.

Anyway, the moral of last nights game was: stay in the outfield cause if the ball hits you there it won't hurt nearly as much, and some people are really bad winners. Never be one of those people.

In other news, I'm in the midst of planning my next big vacation. I love travelling, I love it. I mean, I spend a lot of time daydreaming about where I want to go next and what I want to do while I'm there, and I am constantly looking up the price of flights on expedia. The next trip I take is going to be back to Europe because I love it there. I want to go to Croatia, Slovenia, Romania, Bosnia, Italy, England, Greece and ummm Iceland. I think the chances of me fitting all this into one trip are slim to nil, but I'm going to do what I can. Oh, and I want to visit a friend in France, and maybe a friend in Prague. I'm hoping to go for about three months, but we'll see how much money I can save.

Anyway, everywhere I go, I always buy a magnet for the fridge. For one thing, I love most things tacky, and tons and tons of magnets on the fridge is super tacky. I think it looks amazing. Also, it is a relatively cheap souvenir to bring back and magnets don't weight much, so I can handle carting a bunch of them around for however long. Unfortunately, I only decided to start doing this a couple of years ago, so I am missing a bunch of places, but the fridge is slowly getting filled up.

People have also started bringing me magnets from the places they go, and this makes me extremely happy. It really doesn't take much. My favourite magnets are the stingray one from the Cayman Islands, because swimming with the stingrays was simultaneously awesome and terrifying. I also enjoy the magnet from the Jello Museum in Leroy, NY, because that was one of the greatest museums I've ever experienced. There was a jello brick road! There were displays about Bill Cosby! Amazing.

Anyway, my goal is to eventually cover the entire fridge. And I do mean, sides and everything. Lofty goal? Yes. Doable? I think so.

Monday, August 17, 2009

On the Weather and Some Books...

It's a hot one today. Grossly hot, like, oh my God, even my thumb is sweating hot. I think it makes people a little crazy. I mean, I was walking through the parking lot earlier, and I swear to God I saw a giant, black, poodle on the other side of the street. It was a mirage! There was of course no actual poodle, but the steamy haze coming off of the concrete sure made it look like there was.

This heat makes people a little crazy for sure.

I went to get gas this morning, and I go inside to pay. The cashier was then randomly like, "I"m watching the X-Files", gesturing towards one of those little dvd players sitting on the counter, that I a)did not even notice, and b) therefore did not ask about. So I said, "oh yeah..'. Then he proceeded to tell me the entire plot of the episode. "It's this one where Scully is examining this body, and some guys are like "Scully, can you tell us how he died", and Scully's all like, "oh I'll tell you", then it's like 1, 2, 3, beeeeeeeeeep.". Except it was longer than that and made even less sense. I had no response other than staring and smiling, because I wasn't too sure why he was even telling me this, or if I had somehow made him uncomfortable so he felt the need to make idle chit chat for way longer than we originally would have been talking anyway. At 8:30am, I don't have the patience for people like this. Especially when it's hot, and I haven't even started work yet and I"m already sweating through my clothes. I like the X-Files as much as the rest of the population, but I don't go around talking about random plot lines of the show for no apparent reason. It was a weird start to my morning.

The rest of the day has consisted of more sweating, getting bumped into by a drunk guy on the street, and listening to a verbal smackdown in front of Tim Hortons. What a day so far!

I can't wait to play two games of softball tonight! I will not be moving very quickly no matter how bad we are losing. It's so hot, it's like you can swim through the air. All I want to do is sit on a hammock (if I had one) and read.

Speaking of reading, here are some excellent books I've read lately:

I'm not a great book reviewer...I usually can only say I like it or I don't. This book, I loved. He does a great job of telling the stories of this entire family over several generations.

Jen Lancaster is a funny, funny lady.

Rebecca Wells is one of my favourite authors of all time. I love the world she brings to life. I'm only half way through this book, but it is pretty great so far.

Friday, August 14, 2009

Furry Friday

Last nights models were Violet and Hunter, little Beagle puppies that I can only assume were from the same litter. Last night's photo shoot also featured the goat which has been living at the shelter for a little over a week. The one night I was like, "ummmm what is that sound? It sounds like a child crying!", and then this goat appears from around the corner. He's cute, and he listens like a dog. They found him wandering on the side of the road somewhere. Hey, goat. It's good to see you. Say hi to your mother for me, okay? Oh Andy Samberg.

Hunter spent much of his time outside staring intently at the goat with a, what is the name of God is that? look on his face, which was pretty cute (see picture three). It was also cute when he kept trying to growl at the goat and would then run away in terror. The whole time the goat was just like, la de da, and kept eating the grass.

How cute are Beagle puppies? They are the loudest barkers ever, but so very adorable.

In other good news, my friend Zesty got adopted. It actually made me cry a bit, because while I am super happy she is going to a family, I am going to miss her. She was a good bud for the time she was there. I don't normally get overly attached to the dogs which is probably a good idea seen as they usually get adopted fairly quickly, but sometimes they are there for a while, and you can't help but fall in love a little bit. I just wish I knew who was getting her.

Make adoption your first option! :)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

On Why I Love the Stars

I've always had a thing for the sky; the stars. One of my favourite things about going up North is lying on the dock on my back and just staring at all the stars for hours. The number of stars you can see in the country versus the city is astounding. It's gorgeous. When you stop to think about how big the universe actually is, and then think how small the Earth is in comparison, despite the fact that the Earth sometimes seems like the largest place actually boggles your mind. At least it boggles mine. I just can't fathom how big the universe must actually be. I do know however that it makes the actual Earth, our world, seem a lot smaller and maybe more manageable. Like maybe something or somebody you thought was far away, is really not that far away, at least in comparison to other things. Anyway.

I took astronomy in university as I always had a real urge to be able to name the various constellations in the sky, and I tell ya, during that one year, I was able to name a whole lot of them. Now though? I'm back to square one: Big Dipper, Little Dipper, Cassiopeia, Orion's belt...that's all I got. That class was exciting (kinda) and we learned all about the stars, black holes, phases of the moon and other sciencey stuff from the exact kind of man you would picture teaching an astronomy course. I can't really describe him, but if you saw him on the street, I'm pretty sure you'd be like, yah, that dude totally teaches astronomy class somewhere.

At my university we had this huge telescope. Like, the most giant telescope had to climb up into a building and then up a ladder to be able to look into it. And boy was it powerful. You could see the surface of the moon, and I mean, really see it, with all its craters and valleys and mountains, and it was amazing!

So last night there was a meteor shower...the Perseid Meteor Shower to be exact. It didn't reach it's peak until 2am, and I was fast asleep by then, but what I did see? Was pretty great.

We had to find the darkest place to watch it, so we went down to the beach and out onto the pier. We walked all the way out to the end of the pier, which is not lit at all, and sprawled out. I've never seen such cool shooting stars, not even up at the cottage. Some of them were huge, with giant, long tails. Every time one would shoot through the sky, we would get all excited, I saw one...did you see that one?? It was awesome!!

If anybody ever has the chance to watch a meteor shower, I would definitely say get your ass over to a dark corner of the world and watch the light show. It's amazing the things you can see when you're not stuck in front of a glass window of some sort.

The universe definitely gets a slow clap for the show last night.

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

Small Town Ontario

This past weekend, I took a little trip with the fam up to visit more fam members up in Southwestern Ontario. Picture a town that has the bare minimum of necessities and add twelve fish processing factories, and that's where we were. It was fun, despite the rain (is anybody suprised? My feet are going to become webbed soon). It poured rain the one day, and was humid as hell the next day. We passed the time playing cards, drinking, eating and walking. I find people in small towns take life much slower, and everything moves at quite...a......halting......pace. Everybody knows each other, everybody's friendly, everybody's's lovely is what it is. There was quite a nice little community there, and if there's anything I love, it's a sense of community. Big cities tend to have people moving from place to place, constantly, quickly, but never connecting. It's not like that in small town Ontario. Refreshing to say the least.

So without further adieu, I present to you some fairly unremarkable pictures of a small Ontario town:

I've never seen this many seagulls in my was like out of a horror movie. It was self induced horror too, because how could I not run, with my arms flailing directly towards them?

mmmmhmmm, turtle crossing! How long would that take?

Poor Docky was NOT having the humidity.

Not much makes me happier than NICE graffiti. Seriously, I mean, it's encouraging! It's not sexist, or racist, or just plain mean! I love it!

This pop machine reminds me of going on road trips as child. The first thing we would always scope out at the motel/hotel (we being, me and my cousin who usually accompanied us on vacation) was the pop machine. They were always in the most random places, and it was like a treasure hunt to find them. Ahh, I miss road trips.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

On Why I'm A Huge Nerd

I love mail, I mean good old fashioned hand written mail. I love getting the slightly beat up envelopes, all smudged and slightly torn, and knowing that its been on a journey. I love looking at stamps from other countries. I love sending me old fashioned, but does anybody actually send mail anymore? I mean, I know it is so much easier to email these days, but getting actual mail is substantially more exciting then getting a new email. Written correspondence is a dying medium, but I'm doing my best to keep it alive. I mean, while I practically keep up and running with the amount I buy from them, and it is exciting when my shiny new books arrive, it's nothing like getting a letter from someone you miss.

I was in the post office the other day (oh my gawd the employees know me I'm in there so much), and I was browsing around the new stamps (nerd alert!). I don't collect stamps or anything, but I do enjoy them, and the odd time there is a booklet that just jumps out at me. One time I saw a book commemorating Canadian recording artists, and one of the stamps had Anne Murray on it, and I was like, I GOTTA HAVE THAT!, but when I asked the lady, she's was all, sorry, they are sold out, so I didn't get them. Apparently other people in St. Catharines were equally as excited that Anne Murray got the recognition she deserves by being immortalized on a stamp. Put a little love in your heart! BUT THEN, on Christmas morning I found them in my stocking. Best stocking stuffer ever! Anyway, so I'm in the post office and I see this booklet of stamps entitled "Canadian Roadside Attractions". Immediately I knew I had to have this, because a) i love roadside attractions and b) I always need more things to add to my must see list. The post office had those in stock and I got some and I gotta say it was a great purchase. I mean, I didn't even know some of these things existed:

How great is this? It started off with one sign that a homesick solider left which indicated how far it was to his hometown and now there are over 65000 signs. It's just cool, and I'm pretty sure I'll need to go here one day.

A giant egg? Why? Why not? Let's think of the most random object possible and then make it giant! Well I gotta say, that idea worked brilliantly, because I must see this egg. Roadside Attraction win!

The Roadside Attraction Stamps I got were the first in an installment of four. And for a person who doesn't collect stamps, I'm pretty damn excited about this. This is only adding fuel to the I wanna drive around Canada fire.

Anyway, the stamps come in a pack of 8, so I get to keep four and use the other 4 on letters. EXCEPT! Nobody writes letters anymore, and I have no one to use them on. I don't want to use them randomly, I want to use them on people that will appreciate their greatness. Someone who will look at them and say, "oh my god, a giant egg! Brilliant!".

Friday, August 7, 2009

A Note On John Hughes

I just gotta say, I'm quite saddened to hear of John Hughes passing. Such a young age. That guy defined a generation. I mean, who doesn't love John Hughes movies? He was a hilarious writer. Planes, Trains and Automobiles? The Great Outdoors? National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation, Ferris Bueller, Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles...I love all these movies. These are the kind of movies you can watch over and over again and still enjoy and get a laugh out of (I've seen Christmas Vacation at least 20 times, and it NEVER gets less funny). The guy had a way with words, with dialogue, and he's made millions of people laugh over the years. Legend.

Some favourite John Hughes quotes:

Grandma Helen: Oh Sam, let me take a look at you. Fred, she's gotten her boobies.
Grandpa Fred: I better get my magnifying glass. Ha Ha Ha.
Grandma Helen: Oh, and they are so PERKY.
[reaches to cup them]
Grandma Helen: [cut to:]
Samantha: I can't believe my grandmother actually felt me up.

Ferris: Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it.

Ellen: Clark, I think it'd be best if everyone went home... before things get worse.
Clark: WORSE? How could things get any worse? Take a look around here, Ellen. We're at the threshold of hell.

Clark: Since this is Aunt Bethany's 80th Christmas, I think she should lead us in the saying of Grace.
Aunt Bethany: [turns to Lewis] What, dear?
Nora Griswold: Grace!
Aunt Bethany: Grace? She passed away thirty years ago.
Uncle Lewis: They want you to say Grace.
[Bethany shakes her head in confusion]
Uncle Lewis: The BLESSING!
Aunt Bethany: [they all pose for prayer] I pledge allegiance to the flag of the United States of America and to the republic for which it stands/ One nation, under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all.
Clark: Amen.

Todd: Well, something had to come through the window! Something had to break the stereo!
Margo: And why is the carpet all wet, *Todd*?
Todd: I don't *know*, Margo!

Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?
Clark: Oh, Eddie... If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised than I am now.

Clark: Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here. We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap, hap, happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fucking Kaye. And when Santa squeezes his fat white ass down that chimney tonight, he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nuthouse.

Bartender: He's been struck by lightning... how many times has it been now, Reg?
Reg: S-s-s-s-s-s-s-six...
Chet: Six times?
Reg: S-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-s-six-sixty-sixty-six times. In-n-n-n-n-n-n-In-n-n-n-n-n-n-In-n-n-n-n-n-n-n-n the head!

Neal: Del... Why did you kiss my ear?
Del: Why are you holding my hand?
Neal: [frowns] Where's your other hand?
Del: Between two pillows...
Neal: Those aren't pillows!

Car Rental Agent: [cheerfully] Welcome to Marathon, may I help you?
Neal: Yes.
Car Rental Agent: How may I help you?
Neal: You can start by wiping that fucking dumb-ass smile off your rosey, fucking, cheeks! Then you can give me a fucking automobile: a fucking Datsun, a fucking Toyota, a fucking Mustang, a fucking Buick! Four fucking wheels and a seat!
Car Rental Agent: I really don't care for the way you're speaking to me.
Neal: And I really don't care for the way your company left me in the middle of fucking nowhere with fucking keys to a fucking car that isn't fucking there. And I really didn't care to fucking walk down a fucking highway and across a fucking runway to get back here to have you smile in my fucking face. I want a fucking car RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Car Rental Agent: May I see your rental agreement?
Neal: I threw it away.
Car Rental Agent: Oh boy.
Neal: Oh boy, what?
Car Rental Agent: You're fucked!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I Was Born a Rambling (wo)Man

The summer has finally reached us in Ontario…I mean, the rain hasn’t left, but the sun is also here. Glorious, glorious sun. Time to get some colour in my skin.

I keep getting these email forwards with random stories in them, the moral almost always being seize the day, take every opportunity, you only live once, if you love someone tell them, if you want to be with somebody, tell them, etc and so forth. It’s a good message, I suppose, but I find it is hard to put into practice. Say for example, I did want to be with somebody, but they didn’t want to be with me…I can’t decide what’s worse, the rejection or the 50/50 chance of it. Yeah, there is the chance that they would want to be with you too, and then you'll be glad you did seize the day,but it could be disastrous. Or painful. The email forwards never take into account the, “but what if” factor. Yeah sure, I would love to just drop everything and travel around the world, but what if I run out of money and end up becoming a bum in some random European city? Yes, I would love to live in England and perhaps over time acquire an accent, but what if I umm, run out of money and end up sleeping on a park bench somewhere? Yes, I would love to tell so and so that I want to be with him, but what if he’s all like, ummmm clearly you are delusional. I would love to shave my hair off so I would never have to deal with it again, but what if I did not look as cool as Sinead O’Connor? Anyhoo, all I’m saying is, email forwards fail to take some things into account. It’s easy to say Carpe Diem when you are writing some sappy email with pictures of lavender fields or something equally as compelling, but how many people actually really do seize the day?

Where I am going with this? Clearly this is a rambly day. The sun came out and I got all dreamy headed.

I’ve been having this issue lately where the most random songs pop into my head at the most random times. I’m talking really random, like old church songs from when I used to get dragged to Sunday mass, or old baseball cheers. I’ll be walking along, looking at graffiti or something and all of a sudden, a voice in my head is singing, “Our team is what? RED HOT! Our team is what? RED HOT? Our team is r.e.d.h.o.t that’s the way we wanna be, uh huh. Oh Oh,uh huh, 2, 3, 4, if you think you’re gonna win, then you’d better think again, uh huh…” Or one time, it was The Song That Never Ends. That was extremely annoying. It’s like I have internal musical tourettes or something.

Maybe it’s hereditary. I mean, my family sings about everything. Sometimes it’s like living in a musical. We will make up songs to anything and everything, and oftentimes I sing my sentences. I don’t know if that’s annoying or endearing, but I do know that I can’t help it.

Sometimes my whole family will be sitting together, when all of a sudden someone says a trigger word, let’s say for example it”s “Virginia”, as in, “Oh hey, I was talking to my friend Virginia the other day”. Suddenly, from all corners of the room, you will hear several female voices start singing simultaneously, “come out Virginia, don’t let me wait, you Catholic girls start much too late, aw, but sooner or later it comes down to fate, I might as well be the one…” The male members of my family usually just shake their heads at this point, because who are these crazy people? It started with my grandmother and her legendary song sheets, and has been passed down generation to generation. Why we never started a musical group, I’ll never know, because that would have been pretty damn amazing I gotta say.

Happy Wednesday!

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Furry Friday (plus one day)

Today, it's just some pictures of my good very good buddy Zesty, who is currently my favourite dog at the shelter. She is such a great dog, and I hope, hope, hope she gets adopted soon, because I"m finding it a little too tempting! We took her to an event last week, and she was unbelievably good the whole day. She got along with all the other dogs, and put up with people kissing and hugging and petting her all day long. Such a trooper. She even wore the "Adopt Me!" vest without a fuss. She is going to make an awesome pet for somebody.
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