Animals Gone Mad..

Big pet news this week is the chimp in Connecticut that went crazy and bit/tore his owners hands off. His owner had him for 15 years, and he was trained to do such things as sit on the toilet, log onto the computer to look at pictures, flick channels on a television, and drink wine from a long stemmed wine glass. Why? Why??? Chimps are not children. Good lord.

I feel bad for the owner and all, who was 70, and her pet completely turned on her, and she was then forced to try and kill him. Obviously this would be traumatic since this animal was a member of her family for 15 years.

However,it's a really great example of why exotic animals should not be kept for pets. At all. I don't think there is any possible reason anybody could come up with that would convince me it is okay to have animals like chimps and other monkey esque animals as pets. I'm not even down with the ideas of zoos. Especially ones that preach conservation, yet pimp out their animals and make them do ridiculous tricks, and make them live in inhuman conditions (hello marinepark located one town away from me that for some reason people still insist upon going too). The only places I would support that say they are for "conservation" are the ones that don't allow members of the public in, and their main focus really is on the conservation of species and not making money. BUT that is entirely different story, and a rant that could go on for a long time.

What I don't get is why a person would even consider getting a chimp for a pet in the first place? Cripes...they grow to be huge! And are meant to be around other chimps! Not sitting at a computer surfing the internet, and drinking wine out of a long stemmed glass. The fact that this 70 year old lady trained her pet to do these things, does not make her look smart, it makes her look a little bit crazy!

So...governments can ban certain breeds of dog, who really didn't do anything to deserve that ban in the first place, yet random crazy people have chimps and alligators for pets, and there isn't a whole lot the law does to prevent this? And these people somehow shocked when their animal flips out. You never saw it coming? It's a wild feckin animal! Argggg.

Jesus Land by Julia Scheeres

Read this book.

It is amazing.

Things to Get Excited About...

Family Day is tomorrow! Yay random holidays!! Unfortunately, I will not be seeing any of my family on this day, because they are all basking in the Southern Sun somewhere, but I will think of them all fondly, and well, a little bit bitterly, because I am as pasty as a damn ghost.

The return of:

I love this show a little too much. Tonight they went to Switzerland, and next week they are going to go to Germany. Can't even wait! I love living vicariously through reality tv shows.

And the return of:

Nothing says "Glory, Glory the Lord has risen", like creme filled chocolate eggs. I think if they had these back in JC's time, everybody would have been a lot less horrible. Less crown of thorns, more damn this chocolate is so good, I can't possibly do anything else except eat more of itttt.

Anyhoo, tomorrow I get to sleep in, and this is exciting.

Little Loves

Since it is Valentine's Day, I thought it would appropriate to post about the current loves of my life. Although...I guess I"ll probably never see them again. Ahhh, better to have loved and lost, then to have never loved at all.

I started hanging out with these little guys and girls about five weeks ago, when they looked like this:


They were tiny and alien esque, and my immediate thought upon seeing them was I must take one of these home with me. Alas, it wasn't meant to be because they have grown into very large, bouncy puppies, who have pretty much all (I"m sure as I'm typing this, the last ones are being signed away) been adopted. Adopted by families that sure as hell better keep them forever. Even the crazy one that jumps and lunges at you constantly. My arms and hands bear witness to the fact that these dogs are growing quickly, and so are their teeth and nails. Mangled hands.

The second week we went, all they did was this:


and, excuse me while I go die from cuteness.

Oh my gah, is she still talking about the puppies? yes. I've managed to contain the pictures and ramblings to one long puppy post, so I think that is pretty good.

I've taken pictures and videos of these 9 puppies like they were my own. I wish I could have gotten a picture of all 9 of them together, but I'm pretty sure that would have been near impossible given there are 9 of them, and they never stop moving, except to sleep and when they sleep it is all in a heap, and you can't tell there are nine of them anyway.

During our time with the puppies, we tried to teach them stuff all puppies should know: don't bite (fail), don't pee on the floor (fail), don't try to attack and kill each other (epic fail). Although I must say there was a lot less biting of people last night, but a whole lot more, I'm going to eat my sibling behaviour.

Is she done yet?? Almost.

This is what they looked like last night, all grown up and ready to head off to exciting things (oh god, if I ever have children, they are soooo doomed):

So big, still so cute, so over getting their picture taken.

One day, those little puppies will look like this:

or this

or who the hell even knows what, because nobody knows what kind of dogs they are. Mom was a little skanky, and dad was a deadbeat. Only one of the kids turned out crazy, so that's not too shabby.

Anyway,large wrinkly dog + small apartment would not be a good mix. So all I can do is hope they are going to good homes, with good people.

Now, their Mom, Babe, needs to find a home and I will consider this a very happy ending to a very cute and puppy filled story.

Alright, now I'm done.

Ain't nothing wrong with a little Neil Diamond in the morning to get ya going

I have a new alarm clock that docks my ipod, so thus I can choose whatever song I want to wake up to in the morning. It's great in most ways, but it is always making me late. As in, I think I'll just lie here and listen to Sweet Caroline, and then Cracklin Rosie instead of showering. This morning I was running late for that very reason. I was like, "whatever, I'll just shower after the gym tonight". My hair today did not appreciate this decision. My hair *almost* fits in a ponytail, so my hairdo today is part pony tail, and part 18 million bobby pins holding up loose ends. It's attractive. Also, I have been noticing an influx of grey hair..white really, lately, and this morning I thought, "hey, i'll put mascara on it to hide the white".

I recently watched the season two 90210 dvd, and it's the season with Emily Valentine and her crazy roots. Anyway, the dvd extras had an interview with the actress that played Emily Valentine, and I think her name was Christine Elise. Anyway, she was saying how when she first auditioned for the show, she couldn't afford to get her hair done, and that was why she had massive roots. But then suddenly, she could afford it, except that the powers that be liked her hair with the roots. So, in order to make it look like she still had this kick ass 90s hairdo, they painted her blond hair with black mascara to give the illusion that she still had roots.

I thought I would try this, but on only one hair. It worked, except that piece of hair, and it's unfortunate nearby friends then stuck straight outta the side of my head. One more bobby pin fixed that!
I guess it is just one of those days, and that's fine, I'm cool with that. Because really, I couldn't care less what my hair looks like. I'm just pumped for many reasons not having to do with my hair.
1) One of the dogs at the humane society that has been there FOREVER, got adopted yesterday, and this make me want to cry I am so happy. Yay for Echo!!
2) I don't have to work tonight, and I am SO going to the gym.
3) It's almost lunch. Woot!

Morning Coffee

Today was a good example of why I have a love/hate relationship with that national icon known as Tim Hortons.

Hate:
When the cars line up for the drive through, and it goes out onto the road. If the line is that long, WALK IN. I pretty much never use drive throughs anywhere, because I find they encourage complete laziness. Hey, if I want a long john, at least I"m going to walk in there myself and get it. I also find that the drive through line usually takes 10 times longer than just going into the actual store. Unless you are disabled or it's pouring rain, get out of your car. Instead of spending 10 minutes with your car idling in a ridiculously long line, just go in.

Love:
The customers. The people that frequent Tim Horton's are usually pretty entertaining, especially at the downtown one. Or, as I discovered this morning, the one on Ontario Street.
Through this entire conversation, I was trying to perfect my "I'm looking into the distance, and I'm not listening to you" face. Don't know how well that worked though, because everytime one of the guys said something "funny" they would look at me for a reaction. I gave them nothing.
Exchange:
Large, tall, white guy, with stretched ear lobes: hey man, one time I fought off 30 prison guards by myself.
His scrawny friend: Oh yeah?
LTWGWSEL: Yeah, and I almost won too. (glances at me). That 30th guard weighed at least 500 pounds.
HSF: Oh.
LTWGWSEL: Yeah, we were in a 6 by 8 cell. They were all pouncing on me trying to get my earrings out (glances at me). And they were all at least 6'4.
His friend has stopped paying attention at this point because his sandwich was ready.

what I was thinking while this conversation was happening: 30 prison guards? Really. One was over 500 pounds? Really? All over 6'4? All thirty of them crowded into a 6 by 8 cell because they did't like your earrings? Reallllly?

The LTWGWSEL then continued to look at me, clearly wanting to involve me in this conversation. I however, was doing a very good job of pretending I wasn't listening so eventually, guy moved on, and I went up to order.

HATE:
Rude workers. When it was my turn to order, the Tim Hortons worker did not say anything, she just stared at me. At least say "hi" or "what" or SOMETHING. Don't just stare like an effing bitchy zombie. So I go up and said "hi..can I have a large double double". She rang it up, and then walked away to go get it. She came back put the coffee down, then just looked at the cash register, and then looked at me expectantly. So I hand her the money, said "thanks" and left. I really did not want to say thanks, but I forced it out. I could hear her as I was leaving say to the next person "Can I help you?". Maybe she just had it out for me for some unbeknownst reason, or perhaps I was giving off some sort of vibe, but I really don't think I was. I think she was just bitchy and hated her job, and somehow at that moment, it was my fault. I don't like having to feel grateful when people are nice to me. It's like...you know what, if you hate your job that much, quit. Otherwise, while you are there at least attempt to be pleasant. I have worked in fast food, and it was no picnic, but never was I ever downright rude to anybody. Was this girl rude, or am I just overly sensitive before I've had my coffee in the morning? Also...this has happened before at this Tim Hortons at 133 Ontario Street. The first time I didn't think much about it, but I'm starting to think they all went to the same bitch camp.

LOVE:
The coffee. mmmmm coffee.

Musings

You know what I hate? That commercial with Sarah McLachlan for the SPCA. The one that shows sad/abused animals, and the most depressing song ever plays in the background? Except, the only thing that makes it heartbreaking is the stupid song, which I guess is the point of the whole thing, cause they want your money, but I hate it all the same. First of all, I'm pretty sure dogs don't feel sad. The whole concept of the commercial is a little too anthropomorphic. I know the commercial is mean to play upon human emotions, but I find it really irritating. Maybe I just have a large dislike for Sarah McLachlan. Besides, I tend to think that dogs in shelters don't feel "sad"...I mean, at least they are at the shelter as opposed to some other place that is actually horrific. I mean, shelters aren't ideal, but they are a whole lot better for dogs then abusive situations, drug dens, or someplace else some dumb ass person has put them.

The commercial is extra annoying because it seems to air 18000 times a day. I wish it would concentrate more on educating people about why these dogs end up in the shelter in the first damn place, and concentrate on fixing that, instead of playing into people's emotions about the dogs that are already there. Oy vey.

The other day at the shelter there was a pitbull whose owners had apparently been arrested. I've gotten a lot better at the not wanting to cry at the shelter, buuut oh my gah. Poor thing was shaking. Shaking. And because he/she is a pitbull and lives in Ontario, things aren't looking too great. When I looked at that dog, I saw a dog that was scared to death. I didn't see what the Ontario government would have us believe is a "Pitbull". It makes me angry.

Ontario government and their dumb ass law + Sarah McLachlan=intense irritation.

I will not turn bitter.

I appreciate what Sarah is doing, and I'm glad that attention is being drawn to the animals, but really, I don't want to start crying every time I flip to the tv guide channel to see what is on. I want people to wise up.