CA-NA-DA

So, I got this email forward the other day that was supposedly about questions people around the world have been asking about Canada, since so many people will be travelling to Vancouver for the 2010 games. (Why am I not going to this?? I irritate myself.) Some of the questions in this email are ridiculous, and I definitely question their validity. I tend to think people, especially people who clearly have access to the internet, would send in any of these questions to an International Tourism Organization. The email never says which International Tourism Organization, and a google search for "International Tourism Organization" brings up nothing.

If this forward is actually valid, I can understand why people ask some of the questions. I don't really expect people to know everything about every country in the world, Lord knows I don't...but at the same time, I have basic knowledge about most areas in the world.

What do you guys think? Do you think these are actually real? The answers are sarcastic replies, but the questions are supposedly real:

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?
( England )
A. We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch
them die.

This might be a reasonable question if the person wasn't you know, from England!

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking.

You know what? I can see how this might be a valid question if you don't really know anything about Canada. I mean, it's the same with Australia right? I'm sure people wonder constantly if there are kangaroos hopping around the streets. Kangaroos=Australia, Polar Bears=Canada. Now, never in my life have I actually seen a polar bear in the wild, but then again, I suppose I can see how some people would think they just roam around up here.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the Railroad
tracks? ( Sweden )
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

This one had to be a joke right? Right? If not, I just, I can't comprehend!! Basic world geography!! Most people in the world know that Vancouver is at one side of Canada, and Toronto is in the middleish? Right? Can you imagine asking a question like this? Google Maps people! Save yourself from embarrassment!

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? ( Sweden )
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Huh?

Q: Are there any ATM's (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a
list of them in Toronto , Vancouver , Edmonton and Halifax ? ( England )
A: No, but you'd better bring a few extra furs for trading purposes.

Again, I suppose this can be a valid question. If I'm travelling somewhere, I want to know if I am going to be able to use my debit card. But the question says this person is from England, and that is what boggles my mind.

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the
hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

WTF? USA? Some Canadian had to have made up this entire email...

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here
and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Again.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? ( England )
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

The question makes sense I suppose. It's not like they asked, "Do they use cutlery in Canada?". Perhaps they bought someone a nice cutlery set and want to know if it is going to make it over the border...who knows right?

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday
night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races.
Come naked.

hahaha, come on now.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada ? ( Germany )
A: No, WE don't stink.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round? ( Germany )
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of Vegan hunter/gathers. Milk is
illegal.

This question made me laugh a lot when I first read it. Come on Germany!! Half of my brain is taken up with random German knowledge!

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by
spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

"Big horse with horns"=best description of a moose ever.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

You know what, I can give you this one USA! The English/French thing would probably be confusing to someone who doesn't live here.

Real? Fake? Mixture?

Happy Thanksgiving Tomorrow to all you Americans! Enjoy the holiday and all the yummy, yummy food!!